Lilly is quite an unusual dog in so many ways. She doesn't do regular dog things like pilfering food, she is hopeless with balls, and she doesn't destroy her toys, in fact she is a bit of a weirdo (she fits in perfectly here at Muddy HQ).

Ok, I lied, when it comes to food. She has stolen, but in just over 6 months of being here the only thing she has eaten without permission is a small biscuit that I left on the side of the couch when I nipped to the kitchen to get a drink, and honestly who can resist a Jammie Dodger? It's not like she hasn't had opportunities to nab food off the side in the kitchen, she has, she just doesn't do it!

Balls...

We have discovered a lot about Lilly's sporting prowess, or lack of it, in the past few months. She likes balls, and has managed to lose five somewhere in the house, popped three more, and likes to incessantly chomp on the ones that squeak, but we've discovered she is really rubbish when it comes to catching them!

She has no spatial awareness, and can't catch anything - balls, toys or even food. If we bounce a ball she looks like she's ready, and will get that ball, but every time she either misses it completely, or it rebounds off her nose or chin.  We've started celebrating like she's won Crufts on the very rare occasion she happens to catch it (more out of luck than skill).

Retrieving balls is another of her idiosyncrasies, she like to play fetch, but her version of it consists of...

• we chuck the ball

• she runs to get it

• more than likely she misses it, and has to do a double take

• then she runs back towards us

• all looks good, then she runs right past us and doesn't come back, even though she desperately wants us to chuck it again.

She hasn't quite figured that she has to give it us back if she wants to carry on playing.

Toys...

When we picked her up we were given her bed, but no toys.  On our first trip to the pet shop we grabbed her a crocodile that looked sturdy, and had 2 squeakies, one in the middle, one in it's nose.  When we gave it her to play with she wasn't too sure what to do with it, until I squeezed it, and at that point Croc became her friend.

Endless hours of squeaky chomping ensued, but she never destroyed it.  The only bits that haven't lasted are it's two felt teeth, which she delighted in removing slowly by nibbling them, the material on the nose which unravelled and now has the look of an 18th century moustache, and the squeakies no longer have that oh-so-soothing high pitched resonance.

We have since gathered more toys - a Barbour Jacket toy, more balls and 3 honking ducks. Why three? Because she loved the first one so much that when it lost a wing one day in a tug of war contest I thought I'd get some more seeing as they were only £2.49 Home Bargains specials.  We still have 2 ducks, though only one still honks, as one recently had to be consigned to the bin due to a shocking mid chest explosion reminiscent of the lunch scene in Alien.

R.I.P.  Ducky #1, you hung in there with courage and dedication, but were finally beaten by a greater foe.

Last of her weird non-dog like traits is her ability to ignore temptation, and a willingness to adhere to rules that she could easily break.  Let me explain...

When we re-homed Lilly, her previous owner told us that she didn't allow her on the couch, or upstairs, and that she slept happily in her dog bed.  After not very long (about 5 minutes) residing at Muddy Towers we happily encouraged Lilly to join us on the couch, which she did with pleasure - I mean, pets are meant to be snuggly hot water bottles, aren't they?

The no upstairs rule was never going to be enforced either due to the fact we work from home, and the office is upstairs in the second bedroom.

The only rule we kept was the bed one, and Lilly seems to be very happy kipping on the squishy armchair or in her bed in the lounge.  That was until recently, when she discovered, with a little encouragement from me (naughty mummy), that the single bed in the office/bedroom is much comfier than the carpet in there.

We are happy to let her sleep on that bed whilst we are working as it is has a fairly robust bedspread that can easily be removed if we need to use the bed, and sleeping there keeps her from bothering us when the work is flowing.  As for our bed, she's never set a foot on it, even when we've gone out. She just won't, because she hasn't been invited. Amazing!

I don't know if her peculiarities are because her former owner trained her incredibly well, or she is just the most well mannered dog in the whole world, but honestly we have lucked out with little Lilly, and we both love her quirky ways.